Don't Be "This Guy" Recap

Relationship Series part 2 at Clarity Church in Plymouth MN

Part 2 of 4 in the Relationship Series at Clarity Church in Plymouth Minnesota.

 What if I said that there was a secret to understanding why there are conflicts in the relationships of your life?  What if I said there was one thing you could to that - if we all did it - would immediately bring the temperature down of the arguments and quarrels in our life?  What if what I said just happened to be something that was revealed to us by Jesus’ brother James.

In all of the conflict of our lives, the problem is that we are always wanting something for ourselves that we are not getting.  If we could stop and just admit that the problem in our relationships is that “I’m not getting what I want” - when we admit that it’s OUR problem, and not others - then we are well on our way towards living a life of healthy relationships that God wants for each of us.  

Here are the notes from this weekend:


When you WIN an argument with someone you are in relationships, you don’t really WIN anything.

We all process conflict DIFFERENTLY

                        • PEACEMAKERS

                        • SULKERS

                        • STUFFERS

                        • LITIGATORS

                        • SCREAMERS

As long as there are are RELATIONSHIPS there is CONFLICT


"What is causing quarrels and fights among you?" (James 4:1)

  • Even though there are many kinds of conflict, there is      only one SOURCE of conflict.

  • As long as you BLAME OTHERS for      your unhappiness you will always be unhappy

Don’t they come from YOUR desires that battle within YOU (James 4:1)

  • Conflict always begins INSIDE of YOU.

"You DESIRE but do not have,…" (James 4:2)

  • Every time there is conflict, you WANT something

…So you KILL…” - James 4:2

  • Do you know why you hurt the people that      are closest to you? Because they are CLOSE to YOU

"You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight.” (James 4:2)

  • If you own a SLICE you have to      be NICE.

"You do not have because you do not ask GOD.” (James 4:2)


Who in your relationships is SUFFERING because you are not getting you WAY?


Colossians 3:12

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

If you weren't able to make it on Sunday, you can watch the church service below: